Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize