hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Randomize
