kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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