Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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