So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
