I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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