everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
