if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
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Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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