What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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