omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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