Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
