we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
