I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize