you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
