Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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