There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
