my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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