She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
