Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
