Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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