We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize