i think my tv is drunk
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
