People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
