he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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