i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
