If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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