Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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