it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
