I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize