I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
