why didn't you poke me back
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
