jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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