Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize