im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
