I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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