He is an equal opportunity slut.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
