youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
