I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just threw up on my dentist
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
