So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Farmville is her only friend.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize