You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
