god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
