i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
