what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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