wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Let's paint friendship bongs
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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