I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
