the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
