U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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