Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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