I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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