Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
