well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
