he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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