While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize