when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
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I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
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So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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