Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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