a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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