About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize